


What Once Was Lost

by Okamitaeo



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Bliss (Far Cry), Eventual Smut, F/M, Not Beta Read, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicidal Thoughts, We Die Like Men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-04-06 02:58:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19053859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okamitaeo/pseuds/Okamitaeo
Summary: Hope County is almost safe. The Deputy had slain all but one of the Seed siblings; Joseph. But there's a secret she's been harboring, something so dangerous it could get her killed in his stead. With that secret weighing heavily in her mind, she's ambushed, taken by the only person she knows is willing to harm her. And with a recent wound, she's found herself in a very tense situation.





	1. Chapter 1

Remy found herself to be in quite possibly one of the worst situations of her life. Even that time Hurk accidentally sent a rocket towards the gas station she was trying to clear out didn't quite add up to the predicament she found herself in currently. 

The car was quiet, the radio turned off in tense silence. She wasn't sure who grabbed her, who managed to wrangle her to the ground, but all she knew was it wasn't anyone good. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, feeling the person to her left grow taught like a bow string. Whoever grabbed her had some sense of war, and placed a blindfold over her, a dirty red bandana which smelled faintly of bliss. The scent was calming her slightly, but not in a good way. 

“Ah, sir, are you sure it's safe to drive on these roads with her?” She felt the person to her left move again, but without saying anything she heard the driver clear his throat, and the engine sounded louder than before. Whoever was next to her obviously instilled fear in these peggies, and she was mildly concerned of who it could be. She tugged gently on the restraints on her hands, trying not to draw attention to the movement. A sharp slap on the back of her head told her she was spotted. 

Sighing to herself, she leaned back against the seat, resigned to her current problem. 

“Heads up.” She heard the peggie call put again. Both of the figures to the left and right of her tensed up, and unsure what was happening, she shifted again. Bad luck. The involuntary shift while the car made a sharp turn caused her to stumble forward, off of the bench of the van she was currently in. She felt herself falling, and with her hands tied behind her back, she knew she was going to hit the floor, and hard. Without a word, both of the figures on either side of her caught her, hands grazing the upper part of her arms. 

The one on her left had rough, calloused hands, but felt incredibly gentle, something she wasn't expecting for someone from Eden's Gate, especially someone who was probably one of the leaders. The one on her right definitely had softer hands, but gripped her more roughly, a hidden rage pushed deep beneath his skin. Both of the men grunted, raising her back up on the seat. She fell back with an  _ umph _ , feeling the hard wood of the seat smash into her as she was seated once more. 

“So ah… Just wanted to let you know everyone is probably already out looking for me. So I hope you don't plan on keeping me for very long. I actually had a deer I was skinning back in a cabin I was camped out in. Can't let that go to waste.” She heard it before she felt it. Another hard slap to the back of her head, and she felt the person on her right shift uncomfortably again. 

“We're here.” Both of the people helped her stand, hands placed back on her arms and lifting her to her feet. The one on her right opened the door, and the one now behind her gave her a hard shove, causing her to stumble forward into the other man. He let out an unhappy sigh, and stabilized her. Both of the men flanked her, guiding her unsteadily forward. She wasn't quite sure where they had taken her, but she could hear a steady stream of water, and guns being adjusted while they were held. She was mildly surprised there wasn't a gun pushed into her back or her head, but something about that made her uneasy as well. If they felt confident enough not to threaten her with weapons, the two people guiding her must be incredibly powerful. 

She heard doors swing open, and she was guided forward more, her feet sliding slightly as she walked onto hardwood. She heard a voice from in front of her, a soft, lilting croon.

“He's been awaiting you three. He's in the back.” The voice, along with the way she said “He”, caused her blood to turn icy. Faith. And she could only be speaking of Joseph. That must mean…

“Of course Faith. We wouldn't let anything happen to her now that we've got her.” She shuddered away from the voice, but a strong hand kept her in place. Jacob. That could only mean the other man she hadn't heard speak could be none other than John. The only time she had ever seen them together was when she first arrived to arrest Joseph, and she could feel the tension and worry in the room. She wasn't sure if they were afraid of her, or if they were afraid of what was going to happen. 

“Remove the blindfold John.” Her assumption was correct. She felt a rough hand yank the blindfold off, and she blinked a few times to adjust her vision. She met eyes with Faith, beautiful green staring directly into her own blue eyes. 

“Ah… I can see the wrath behind your eyes, like John has said.” Faith giggled, and placed her hands on Remy’s cheeks. “But we can help you atone. We can guide you down the right path.” Faith slid her hands off of her face, almost making Remy want to lean forward back into her touch. Although she knew it was just the bliss talking, she felt a small twinge of sadness. 

All of this fighting was causing her nothing but pain. Sure, she had friends who were looking out for her, or fought to help her get out of the Seed's grasp, but she felt like she didn't have anyone to really talk to. She felt alone, and right now, she was afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, just wanted to say thanks for dropping by and reading! This was my first story I started writing after a five year slump, so if it seems a little all over the place it probably is. Also, strap in, because this story is about to get rocky!


	2. Chapter 2

Sharky and Hurk were on the oversized couch, chugging beers and shoveling chips into their mouths.

“Hey Shark, I've got a situation for you..” Hurk shoved another fistful of doritos into his mouth. “Okay, listen up. So, imagine there's a man, with two knives. He's trapped in a cage with a toothless and claw-less tiger. Who'd win?”  Sharky was about to respond, when the deputy walked through the door. Her eyes were gaunt, and her hair was falling out of the tight braid she normally kept it in. Her clothes were torn in numerous places, and a large wound on her left leg appeared to have recently stopped bleeding.

“Whoa, Remy, you okay?” Sharky asked, jumping to his feet to help the stumbling deputy. She reached out an arm to him, leaning heavily onto him. “A little help here Hurk.” Hurk wiped his cheese-dusted fingers on his pants, and wrapped his arm around the deputy, helping to drag her up.

“No. Yes. I don't know.” She mumbled. She took a step forward, and Sharky had a feeling that if they hadn't helped when they had she would have fallen to the ground. 

“C'mon Dep, let's get you cleaned up. You look like hell.” Remy let out a small chuckle, and with their help, hobbled to the small bathroom. She waved the two of them off when they got to it, and she leaned heavily on the sink to help her stand when they released her. 

“What happened?” Hurk asked, gently helping her remove the heavy jacket she normally wore. She sat down on the toilet lid with a loud groan.

“John. Stupid asshole called me to the church in Falls End. Should have known it was a trap.” She started to yank her boots off, stifling a cry of pain when she felt her foot twist in the wrong direction. “After a whole bunch of shit went down there he goaded me into a dog fight. I don't think he knew how well of a pilot I was. Shot him right out of the sky. I tried to follow where he fell, but his damn peggies got to him before I could.” She yanked her shirt off over her head, causing Sharky and Hurk to look anywhere but at her. “Oh c'mon, it's not like you two haven't seen tits before.” She grumbled. “And I'm still wearing a bra you heathens.” The two slowly turned their attention back to her, and Sharky let out a low whistle, while Hurk let out a strangled gasp. “Yeah, well, he got me.” Tattooed underneath her collarbone, in sprawling letters, the word “Wrath” stood out sharply against her skin. 

“Whoa dude, maybe John isn't such a shitty tattoo artist. I mean, he still shouldn't be, ya know, doing it against people's wills, but that doesn't look half bad.” Hurk said, leaning forward to examine it closer. Remy let out another grunt, and popped the button on her jeans. She let out a pained gasp as she tried to stand.

“I… I don't think I can get these off.” She whispered. Sharky and Hurk exchanged glances. 

“Why not?” Sharky asked, gently grabbed the top of her jeans to pull down. 

“One of John's chosen shot me out of the air right before I was about to jump out.” Hurk helped her stand, while Sharky helped her remove her pants. She let out an anguished yell when he pulled a little too hard over her wound. “I think there's shrapnel in there that needs to be pulled out.” She whined, collapsing back onto the toilet seat. Sharky finished removing her pants, and glanced at them, making an odd face. Remy looked at him, sighed, and waved her hand. “Toss ‘em. I don't think I'll be able to salvage them.” Sharky nodded, apparently relieved to leave the room with the half-naked deputy. Hurk cleared his throat when Sharky left.

“Do you ah… Need help with anything else?” His eyes avoided any contact with her. She sighed again, and looked down at her mangled leg. 

“I think there's something in my leg. I need it out if I want it to close up.” Hurk nodded, and rushed out of the bathroom to grab a med-kit. Remy let out another groan, feeling tears well up in her eyes. “Fuck them…” She put her face in her hands, the tears beginning to fall. The Seed's had caused her nothing but pain. Most of their outposts had fallen, and with Remy’s help, the family was currently in hiding. 

But… She was at odds with herself. She knew she should hate the Seed's. After everything they've done to her, she should hate them. But she just… Can't. She's stayed up, countless nights, dreading what has been laid in front of her. Their lives. She's been tasked with killing them, killing the people who have caused so much damage and loss to the people of Hope County. 

But she also knew their pain. John had confessed to her all of the pain he had endured, while Jacob had released her on a whim, saying he had seen enough suffering and wanted it to end.

Those last two had been the final meetings with either of them. John and Jacob had taken to hiding, their army basically reduced to scrap fighters. 

Remy reached behind her back and wriggled out of her undergarments, turning on the shower. She took a hesitant step inside, and felt the hot water start to wash away the blood and filth. She held a hand out, watching silently as the water slowly turned from a coppery red to clear. 

She grabbed a bottle of shampoo, tearing her hair out from the tight braid she kept it in. She ducked her head under the water, watching the dirt and grime slowly find its way out of her hair. She dumped a generous amount of shampoo in her hand, roughly scrubbing her head. Maybe if she scrubbed hard enough she could forget these thoughts.

After dousing her hair in conditioner (hey, there may be a war but that wasn't going to stop her from taking care of one of her favorite assets), she started to scrub the rest of her body, but paused when she felt a sharp throb of pain go through her leg.

Ever so slowly, she felt her leg giving out again. She let out a sob, and crashed to the floor of the shower, pulling her legs in tight, wincing in pain as whatever was in her leg lodged in deeper. She heard the bathroom door slam open, and Hurk and Sharky rushed back in.

She ignored them, staring blankly at the faucet of the shower.

“I can't do it… I just can't…” She buried her head back into her hands, sobbing. Hurk and Sharky exchanged glances, and Sharky grabbed a towel, gently wrapping it over her shoulders. 

“C'mon Dep, you know I don't like when women cry. Gets me all emotional.” Sharky leaned over and turned the water off, helping her wrap the towel around herself and stand. Hurk grabbed her upper arms, and she flinched, almost leaning away.

“Hey, c'mon now, it's only us. We won't hurt you.” The two cousins exchanged silent glances. Whatever John had done to her had messed her up pretty bad. “Let's get you dried off and into some clean clothes.” Hurk said, helping her stand. “We can get that leg taken care of, and then Sharky and I can make you our Shurky special.” She appeared even more visibly worried, which made Hurk and Sharky chuckle. At least she wasn't messed up enough to be worried about what that meant. 

She let Sharky and Hurk guide her to her room, which she said she would manage to change by herself. After a few minutes, she called for them again, dressed in dark tight shorts and a loose t-shirt. 

“I think that shrapnel is in there deep… I'm not sure I'm going to stay conscious.” She murmured. The two nodded, and helped her back to the table, setting her down in a chair. Sharky removed his belt, and wrapped it around her upper leg, above the wound. She winced when he tightened it. He looked up from where he was crouched, and placed a hand on her knee. 

“Well Dep you're not wrong about how bad this is gonna be. Need some whiskey?” She shook her head, gritting her teeth. 

“No. Just make sure I don't bleed out.” Hurk kneeled down by Sharky, digging through the med-kit for tools. “I'm not qualified for this kinda shit dude. But I'll try my best.” Hurk dug out a small pair of forceps, and looked curiously down at her wound. 

“I'd try not to look if I was you Remy.”


	3. Chapter 3

Remy was forced forward, Jacob placing a rough hand on the small of her back, causing her to walk forward as he did. She gave him a hard stare, feeling his cold dark eyes send her an equally mean glare. 

“Face forward mutt.” Jacob growled, digging his fingers into her skin, causing her to flinch.

“Gentle Jacob. Joseph won’t like to hear that you hurt her.” Faith murmured, gliding up silently behind Remy. Faith walked in front of Jacob, placing a soft hand on his arm. Jacob let out another deep growl, but relented, easing up on the back of Remy’s back. 

John was watching silently, his own blue eyes staring at Remy. She glanced up at him, blue glaring at blue. 

“It’s healing nicely.” He whispered, a small grin playing its way across his face. He brushed aside her jacket, hand lingering over her tattoo. She jerked away, causing her to run into Jacob. John laughed, looking at Jacob’s dark expression.

“I’d watch out, my dear. My brother has little patience for insubordination.” She attempted to pull away from both of their grasps, but Jacob merely tightened his grip, causing her to grunt in pain. John traced the letters on her chest slowly, his touch causing her flesh to crawl unpleasantly. 

Faith watched quietly, seemingly content they didn't appear to be hurting her. Physically anyway. She walked forward quickly, opening another door that appeared to lead to the back of the church. Remy suddenly realized Joseph was probably through those doors, and felt her panic swell.

“No, I can't…” She started, struggling harder against her captors now. Jacob and John glanced at her, grabbing her upper arms once again, overpowering her. Faith gave her a sad smile, and gestured towards the door.

“Don't worry. We'll make sure you can walk with us.” As Remy was forced through the door, she gave one last yank, managing to break Jacob's grasp. Jacob seemed surprised, his eyes watching to see what she was going to do next. 

As she pulled from his grasp though, it only forced her into John's chest. He let out a short bark of laughter, and wrapped his arms around her. 

“You don't want to try to run. Jacob and I like the chase.” She struggled vainly against his iron grip, but he tightened harder, and she screamed, feeling his arms beginning to crush her ribs. 

“Enough.” A quiet voice called out. All four of them quieted and stilled. Remy felt her heart pounding in her chest, and she was pretty sure John could feel it through her jacket. 

The room was decorated plainly, a simple table placed in the middle, a white tablecloth placed over it. Directly in the middle of the table a blue vase sat, pure white bliss flowers placed in it. Large windows in the back allowed the moonlight in, illuminating the man who had his back to the siblings and the deputy. In front of the table was a simple wooden chair, a sheer white cloth with the symbol of Eden’s Gate attached to the back of it.

The large windows were open, letting in a small breeze, which blew the sheer white curtains softly in the wind. A faint smell of lavender was blowing in through the window, as well as a hint of bliss from the flowers in the vase. 

But that did nothing to calm Remy as she felt a sense of hopelessness wash over her.

“Joseph.” She whispered, immediately ceasing her struggling against John. 

“You may release her John. I don't think she'd dare try to fight us, outnumbered as she is.” Joseph said, turning to face them. His blue eyes ran over her, taking in her disheveled hair, and the blood running down her face. For once he was without his glasses, the blue in his eyes startling in the moonlight. He took three long strides towards her, closing the gap between them far faster than Remy would have liked. 

He tilted his head at her, placing a hand under her chin, forcing her to look up and away from him. “I see you've been hurt, my child. No worries. We will clean you up.” She struggled to regain control of her head, but he tightened his grip, causing her to wince in pain. “Faith, please grab a towel so we may clean up our young deputy.” Faith nodded, and left the room. Joseph took a step back, and motioned towards the chair. “Sit.” Remy stared at him, fighting the urge to lunge at him. Now was not the time to try and provoke him, especially with his two brothers standing so incredibly close to her.

He sighed, and nodded towards Jacob and John. The two immediately moved, forcing her towards the chair. She sat down, her momentum causing the chair to slide back a few inches. She glared angrily up at the brothers, but felt powerless under their hungry blue gazes. 

“It was odd Joseph. She was out wandering the forest for herself for once. No weapons, no partners. I've never seen her travel like that before.” Jacob murmured, staring at her with curiosity. Joseph turned his attention back to Remy. 

“Did you make sure to search her for any throwing knives or explosives?” He asked. 

“Of course. We know the damage she could cause with a single knife.” John replied, almost exasperated.”Considering I barely made off with my life in that dog fight with her we know not to underestimate her.” Joseph nodded, when his eyes came to rest on her tattoo.

“I see you've taken it upon yourself to mark her John.” John almost appeared chastised.

“Well, yes, but I ran out of time to remove her of her sin.” Joseph stared at the sprawling tattoo, deep in thought. 

“Leave it. Let her live with her sin, as we have. Maybe it will humble her.” The three turned their heads back to the door as Faith walked in, carrying a small metal bowl with a white cloth.

“Would you like me to clean her up Father?” Faith asked, setting the bowl down on the table. Joseph shook his head.

“No my child. I will take care of it. Thank you.” He pressed his forehead to hers, and she visibly brightened. He grabbed the towel, and wrung it out, walking towards Remy.

“Stay away.” She warned, feeling like a cornered animal. He paused directly in front of her. 

“You're hurt. And it appears you've already lost a lot of blood.” He took another step towards her, and she jerked away from him. He flicked his eyes up towards his brothers, and appeared to have a silent conversation with them. He shrugged, and tossed the cloth back into the bowl. “Fine. If you do not wish to be cleaned up you may stay in that bloody state.” He walked back towards the window.

“What are we going to do with her Father?” Faith asked, looking back quietly at the bloody and tired deputy. 

“She didn't respond well to my conditioning.” Jacob grumbled, running a hand over his chest where she had shot at him after his plan had failed. 

“Nor does pain seem to really affect her either.” John said, a sly grin on his face as he looked at his handiwork on her chest. She shied away from Faith as she reached a hand out towards her.

“Or bliss. No matter how much I gave her it never really took hold of her.” She sighed sadly, tucking a stray piece of black hair behind Remy's ear. “You would have made a lovely Chosen.” Joseph stared at her, watching as her own blue eyes stared down at the floor, avoiding eye contact. He walked forward, grabbing the cloth once more. 

“She is our Chosen. She doesn't need to be trained or blissed.” He gently dabbed the cloth on her face, watching as she recoiled harshly to his touch. 

“Stop.” She whispered, her voice coming out in a shrill whimper. Joseph paused in his cleaning. The other three stared down at her as well.

“Odd.” Faith breathed, eyes growing wide. Joseph looked up to her for clarification.

“This is the first time I've seen terror in her eyes.” John murmured.


	4. Chapter 4

Remy didn't consider herself emotional. Sure, she cried when she thought Boomer was going to die, but anyone would have cried in that situation. She watched Hurk and Sharky meander around her kitchen, hushed whispers to avoid waking up the exhausted deputy. 

_ “I can't believe I broke down like that. Especially in front of them.”  _ she thought, combing through her hair with her fingers. She adjusted her position, hissing as sharp pain shot through her leg.

“You up Dep?” Hurk asked, peeking around the corner to check up on her. She let out a groan.

“If you could call it that. Did I pass out?” She asked, closing her eyes and focusing on her breath.

“Yeah, you did. We moved you to the couch after we gotcha all cleaned up. You hungry?” she placed a hand over her eyes, trying to clear her head.

“Depends. Is it that Shurky special you were talking about?” she heard more hushed whispers, and then silence. “Don't lie to me. I swear to God if it's some bullshit of cheetos and chicken I'm going to light it on fire.” She heard them pick up the pace of whatever they were doing, and Sharky called out, a little too loudly,

“Uh, well, it's uh,  _ heh _ , not gonna be cheetos… Cause… You were… Out of them.” She took a long, deep breath, and grabbed the fleece blanket hanging over the side of the couch and tossed it over herself.

“As long as you guys don't try giving me undercooked chicken and try to pass it off as rare, we're fine I guess.” She heard both of them pick up their talking, and assumed it meant they felt they were in the clear.

She shifted down the couch slightly, wincing as she pulled her wound once again.

_ “I wonder where they could be hiding. All of their bunkers have been destroyed or captured, so they must have another one they've kept hidden.”  _ She felt tears starting to well up in her eyes again.  _ “Why can't I hate them? Why couldn't I have pointed that gun at his fucking head instead of his chest? Why didn't I send bombs towards his plane? Why did I save her instead of letting her bleed out?”  _ She placed an arm over her eyes, sobbing quietly. The whole resistance was counting on her. She told them she had killed Faith, had killed Jacob. 

But she was lying to them. Somewhere deep in her heart, as she was about to deliver their fate to them, she hesitated.

The ruthless, cold-blooded deputy, had hesitated. She was known throughout Hope County as the Resistances weapon. But for some reason, their powerful weapon had a pretty huge flaw. Her compassion. Every time she had seen Joseph when she was captured, she tried to imagine putting a bullet between his cold blue eyes. 

It would end everything. It would end this pointless fighting and murdering. But for some reason, the image of his lifeless body in front of her made her nauseous. She had killed plenty before. She didn't feel too much when killing the peggies, but an image of Joseph bleeding out before her made her incredibly scared. 

“Hey Dep… You sure you're okay?” Sharky asked, walking towards her with an apron that read ‘Kiss the Cook’. She took an unsteady breath and nodded, not moving her arm from her eyes. 

She felt the couch shift by her feet, and she felt a soft hand on her knee. “Hey, it's okay. Well, I mean, it's not okay, but we're here for you. Also you're still alive even after Hurk nearly severed an artery, so you should actually be pretty damn happy.” She chuckled, and looked down at the man at her feet. He locked eyes with her, and his brown eyes softened, and he began to rub his thumb in small circles over her knee. 

“I'm sorry Sharky… I don't know what's wrong with me.” She mumbled, wiping the last few tears away. Sharky shrugged, and jumped when Hurk yelled an expletive. 

“I'm okay! Just used a little too much lighter fluid to start the stove.” Sharky and Remy shared a worried look.

“Uh, Hurk, you don't need lighter fluid to start a stove.” Remy called. There was a long, awkward silence before a quiet “Oh.” replied. Sharky patted her leg, and stood up.

“Ain't nothing wrong with being sad. I mean, those Seed's have the biggest hard-on for you, what with all the kidnappin’ and draggin’, so I'd imagine this shit is gettin’ a little taxin’ on that pretty head of yours.” He winked at her, and returned to the kitchen. “What the fuck Hurk? I know she said not rare but this shit is literally jerky now!” Listening to the two cousins begin to argue about the best way to cook chicken brought a smile to her face. 

The two dorks always knew how to bring a smile to her face, even without trying. But she needed to be alone for a moment, a minute of complete and utter silence. She pushed herself into an up position, and swung her legs over the side of the couch, grunting in pain as she tried to put weight on her leg. 

She managed to limp her way back into her room, changing into a warm jacket and some black lace up boots, deciding to keep the shorts on so they wouldn't aggravate her wound. As she limped back out, Sharky and Hurk were plating dishes, some odd concoction of chicken with chip breading and a side of macaroni and cheese. 

“Jesus, are you guys trying to put me into cardiac arrest?” Remy laughed, grabbing a plate from Sharky as he handed it to her. 

“Trust me, I've been eating like this my whole life, and I ain't dead yet.” He wandered back into the kitchen, and returned with three beers for them. The three sat in companionable silence, watching an old black and white movie on her old TV. 

“So, Remy, how you holdin’ up?” Hurk asked, taking one last massive spoonful of macaroni and cheese. She shrugged, finishing off her beer.

“I mean, not great. A crazy ass cultist just tattooed me against my will, one of his siblings basically turned me into a murder machine, and the other drugged me so badly I didn't even know I was basically falling to my death.” She crunched the can in her hand. “I think it's okay for me to be a little pissed and scared for what the last Seed has in store for me.” Sharky nodded, his eyes never leaving the TV.

“Yeah. You need to be more careful now Remy. Those fuckers got eyes everywhere still. Never know when they'll strike.” Remy watched Sharky quietly, and slowly started to scoot away from him.

“Yeah… Like I'll never know if they've drugged my best friends to come and steal me in the middle of the night while I'm wounded and unsuspecting.” Sharky turned his attention to her, his eyes slightly glazed.

“You're friends… Yes…” He made a feint towards her, which she tried to dodge, unsuccessfully because of her leg. He wrapped his arms around her waist, careful of her leg, but began to drag her back towards him.

“Wait, what the hells goin’ on?” Hurk asked, jumping to his feet. “Oh, man, they really got Sharky! Fuck man, I got him!” Before Remy could scream out a warning, she felt Hurk slam into them, causing the three of them to tumble off the couch, knocking the coffee table and it's contents across the floor.

“God Hurk, it was a joke! Getcher ass off of me!” Sharky yelled, muffled slightly as his face was pushed into Remy's stomach. Hurk rolled off of them quickly looking at the two of them quizzically. 

“Oh. Well maybe you shoulda thought of that before scaring the shit outta me. Remy's still hurt and I didn't want her gettin’ stolen.” Sharky groaned, pushing himself off of Remy and helping her to her feet. Remy was giggling, something neither of the cousins had heard much of. Sharky looked at her, and began to join in the laughter. Hurk ran a hand over his head, appearing sheepish. “Well glad you're laughin’. I'm gonna go get another beer. Anyone else?” Remy waved him off, but Sharky nodded. As Hurk returned to the kitchen, Remy smiled at Sharky.

“You guys do know how to cheer me up, whether it's intentional or not.” She took a hesitant step away from him. “But I need to go outside for a bit. Clear my thoughts and all that junk.” Sharky tilted his head at her, his eyes searching hers.

“You sure you'll be okay out there alone? And wounded?” She nodded.

“I'll take Boomer with me. I'll be fine.” Sharky narrowed his eyes at her, crossing his arms.

“So you'll take a mutt but you won't let me come with you? The Charlemagne Boshaw, the one-man army?” She smiled warmly back at him.

“Unlike you, Boomer has an excellent sense of smell and stealth. Which is something I'll need more than lighting a forest on fire.” Sharky shrugged, helping her to the door.

“I suppose that's fair. But if something happens to you while you're gone I'm gonna turn that dog into stew.” She only laughed, and opened the cabin door. 

“I'll be fine Sharky. Not like I can't handle myself.”


	5. Chapter 5

Joseph knelt down in front of her, placing his hands on her bare knees. He glanced down at the bandage wrapped tightly around her leg, turning a faint reddish brown.

“Hmm. Seems someone gets into more trouble than I realized.” He looked back up at her, his eyes almost appearing to read her thoughts. “Faith, bring us some clean bandages. These ones are filthy, and not even placed correctly.” Remy shied away from his touch, but his hands remained on her knees. “You are safe now child. You're with family.” 

She wanted to run. She wanted to scream. But with her head and leg bleeding so badly she was beginning to feel light-headed and nauseous. She heard Faith dance out of the room, her white dress twirling around her. 

“She's been bleeding a lot Joseph. Not only from her head but from that leg.” Jacob growled, walking around the chair to stand in front of her.

“Yes. It does appear she has lost a lot.” He removed his hands from her knees, and she realized just how warm he was keeping her when she shivered. He watched in mild amusement as small bumps began to crawl their way across her flesh. “Jacob, fetch me an apple for her to eat. John, she appears to be cold. Grab me a blanket to keep her warm. A dark one, as there's a chance she could bleed on it.” The two brothers nodded and disappeared behind Faith, hushed whispers the only sign they were fully gone. Joseph stood, and held his hands out to her, reminiscent of the first time she met him.

“You spared them.” He said matter-of-factly, his dark eyes flickering over her face.

“Yes.” She replied curtly, oddly aware of the fact of the skimpy clothing she was in. He curled his fingers in towards himself, beckoning her to take his hands. She hesitated.

“Why? You were to be the driving force between us and God. You were to be the one to remove my family from me. You were to be my family after they were long gone.” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “What are you gaining from saving them, from saving us?” She twitched her hands, feeling strangely sad she couldn't bring herself to take his hands. He took a step closer.

“What are you hoping to accomplish, Deputy?” He asked, placing his hands on either side of her hips on the chair, leaning in close. Remy could smell the faint trace of peppermint on his tongue. 

“I'm not ruthless. I'm not a murderer.” She whispered. He gave a short bark of laughter.

“No? You've murdered more than half of my flock. Your little resistance is torturing my flock. You think you're a force of good. But you're not.” He pushed the chair slightly as he straightened up, making Remy flinch softly. “You think you're saving them. You think you're better than us. But you're not. If what you think we're doing is evil, then you are just as wicked as us.” He hissed, turning his back towards her and walking angrily towards the window. 

The three other Seed's returned shortly, silent as they walked in on an angry Joseph and a lost deputy. Faith placed the bandages down neatly on the table, and looked between Joseph and the deputy. 

“Is everything alright?” Faith asked, choosing to walk towards Joseph.

“Yes. We were just having a heart to heart,” Joseph explained, turning back around. John shifted uncomfortably, and placed the blanket down next to the bandages. Joseph turned back around, his eyes unreadable. “The lamb has decided she no longer wishes to be a wolf in sheep's clothing.” His siblings turned to look at him. “But what should we do with her? Most of Hope County will be looking for her. My bunker is compromised as it is.” He looked towards his brothers for an answer. John's expression was curious, glancing down at her as if she weren't there. Joseph narrowed his eyes.

“Come now John. Remember your sins.” John looked away from her, his eyes downcast.

“Yes Joseph.” Joseph sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his left hand, his necklace just long enough to graze his throat. 

“Go outside. Take a walk. Clear your mind. Return when you have remembered how to behave.” John appeared embarrassed, and ducked out, his heavy foot falls giving Remy a small sense of security. Joseph turned towards Jacob.

“And what of you, Brother Jacob?” She lifted her head to look at him, a look of defiance beginning to settle in her own blue eyes. He grabbed her chin forcefully, forcing her into a contest of wills as they looked at each other. He smirked.

“I say we kill her. Kill the resistance at its roots. Then we'll be rid of this disease she is riddled with.” She felt her anger bubble up within her, and used that surge to break his grasp by turning her head. She felt empowered over her small victory, but it was short-lived when Jacob grabbed her braid and yanked her head back, getting a small yelp of pain from her.

Joseph merely watched the encounter, saying nothing as Jacob pulled a knife from his pocket and placed it at the hollow of her throat. “I'd watch yourself. You're friends aren't coming anytime soon.” She glared up at him, her eyes challenging him to do it.

“I almost took you down. I could have done it. But I spared your life.” She growled back. He paused, and then gave her a large smile.

“And now look where we are.” She felt the knife press a little harder, and flinched when she felt something warm start to flow down her neck.

“Enough.” Joseph called out again. Jacob didn't react for a few more seconds, simply watching as the blood began to run a course down her chest, across her Wrath tattoo. “We cannot kill her. She is too important to our cause to simply kill her now. Go, and find John. You too need to remember what our goal is.” Jacob stood back up, wiping his knife on his pants. He threw a dark stare towards Joseph, and followed John out of the door. 

Faith quietly made her way to Joseph, and linked an arm through his. He turned to look at her.

“And you, Sister Faith?” She stared at Remy, who was pressing a hard hand to her bleeding neck. Remy had her eyes shut tight, hoping to ignore the slight discomfort Jacob had decided to place upon her. 

Faith sighed, and walked towards her, picking up the towel once more.

“Like you said Father, she is our lamb. A ruthless, angry lamb, but our lamb nonetheless.” Joseph watched quietly as Faith began to wipe the deputy’s face once more. Instead of pulling away as she did when Joseph tried to clean her, the deputy almost appeared to lean into Faith. “All she needs is a little care, and she will come to learn we only wish to love her.” After a few moments, Faith stepped back, admiring how clean the deputy looked. 

“Yes. Give her some time to adjust.” Faith pressed a gentle hand to the deputy's neck, who only flinched slightly at the pressure. Joseph walked forward, and grabbed the dark red apple Jacob had brought. “Go check on our Brothers dear Faith. Make sure John and Jacob have cleared their heads.” Faith gave a small curtsy, and skipped out of the church.

Joseph pulled a small knife from his back pocket, flicking it open. Remy raised her eyes to look at him, the fierce fire he was so used to seeing dimmed. Joseph almost felt… Sad. He started to cut into the apple, the crisp flesh giving a slight resistance to his actions.

“You need to eat something. Between what they did to get you here and now Jacob, you must be feeling pretty dizzy.” He made quick work of the apple, coring it and cutting it into small wedges. He leaned against the table, just close enough for him to still be able to reach the deputy. “Here.” He held a piece of the apple towards her. She looked at the apple suspiciously, her blue eyes flickering upward to look into his.

He read the mistrust in her. He sighed, and took a bite of the apple, grimacing inwardly at the overly sweet flavor.

“It's not poisoned or anything. In case you didn't hear me, you're too important to our cause to simply kill.” He held out the partial piece of apple, which she cautiously plucked from his grasp. He watched quietly as she fumbled, her blood-loss addling her actions. She dropped the apple slice on the ground, her brows furrowing in frustration as she realized just how weak she must appear in his eyes. 

He picked another slice from the table, and held it out to her, this time holding it close enough to her face for her to just bite it. He watched as her cheeks turned a darker color, her eyes gaining that ferocious light back in them.

“I can eat it myself.” She mumbled, but she didn't reach out and grab it. She hesitantly grabbed the apple between her teeth, and Joseph felt the small pull as she bit a piece off. She chewed for a few moments, refusing to look at him as she ate.

“It was too sweet for my taste, but you strike me as someone who doesn't mind what food tastes like, as long as it gets the job done.” She swallowed, and he fed her the last small piece. She didn't respond to him, which was an answer all on its own. The two stayed like that for a few more minutes, Joseph quietly feeding her apple slices, while she stayed silent. 

As Joseph was feeding her the last bit of apple, the doors swung back open, revealing his siblings, Faith leading his two brothers. 

When John saw the position the two were in, he came to a complete stop, almost appearing angry at Joseph. Joseph stood up to his full height, and wiped his hands on the towel that was used to clean up Remy. 

“So what are we going to do with her?” John asked, his eyes switching between the two in front of him.

Joseph leaned casually against the table, rubbing the soft faux fur blanket between his thumb and forefinger.

“I think I may have an idea.” Joseph murmured, picking up the blanket and placing it around her shoulders. She didn't shy away from him, like he was used to her doing. She instead hunched her shoulders, pulling herself into a tight ball on the chair.

“She was to be the lamb who led my family to destruction, who would open the gates of hell unto our unclean world.” He grabbed a lock of her hair, twirling it gently in his fingers. She jerked her head away, but made no move to stop his fingers.

“But she has changed her mind. Our lamb, who was to kill each and every one of you, spared you. Spared us.” He gave a slight tug on the strand of hair, causing her to glare at him. “I take this as a sign she wishes to join our family.” Remy shuddered, tugging the blanket tighter around her.

“Faith, I need you to make special batches of bliss for our lamb. Something strong enough to keep her placated, but not strong enough to stop her from feeling, whether it's emotions or pain.” Remy looked up at Joseph then, confused. Faith also appeared troubled. 

“Yes Father. It will be easy, but I'm afraid the dosage will have to be administered at least every twelve hours.” Joseph shrugged.

“If it needs to be used like that, so be it. We'll need large batches though. But easy enough for us to carry on our person.” Faith nodded.

“I should be able to have those ready in a couple of hours.” Joseph looked over at her, his expression unreadable.

“Then I'd like you to start it. Now.” Remy looked up at the brothers, watching multiple emotions flit across their faces. 

Faith flinched, and nodded, almost running out of the room. Remy could hear Faith issuing orders, calling out to her Chosen to ready the vehicles for departure. 

Joseph turned back towards his brothers, and spread his arms towards them. The two immediately stepped forward, their boots clattering loudly against the wooden floor. 

Joseph clasped his hands behind his brothers necks, pulling their heads in close to his.

“She has finally come to us Brothers. Willingly or not, she is finally with us.” Joseph pulled away from his brothers, turning his fiery stare back towards the deputy. “She will bring our family into Eden’s Gate. Our  _ new _ family.” Remy's brows furrowed. He put heavy emphasis on new, causing her mind to try to figure out whatever he was scheming. 

She caught it before his brothers did.

“What the actual fuck.” She murmured, turned her gaze up towards the siblings. Joseph glared down at her with steely eyes.

“What better way to keep you close to us? What better way to stop the resistance at its roots without killing you? What better way to instill fear and to stop the attacks on my flock?” Joseph gave her a smile that caused shivers to run down her spine. 

“By making you the mother of one of our children.”


	6. Chapter 6

Remy was tired. She was tired of fighting. Tired of the Seed's breathing down her neck. Tired of the pain, caused by something as simple as walking. 

She knelt down next to Boomer, who looked up at her with brown eyes filled with adoration.

“I'm scared Boomer.” He tilted his head at her, his left ear flopping down. She smiled, and scratched behind said ear. “It feels like they know something I don't. What if he's right?” She asked, pushing her head down into his fur. He gave her a quiet whine, and pushed his muzzle into her hand, demanding pets. 

She sighed, and pulled herself back up, limping towards the ledge of the mountain side she was on. With a grunt, she sat down, dangling her legs over the side of the peak. Boomer came and sat next to her side, leaning heavily on her. She wrapped an arm around his back, pulling him closer for warmth.

_ “Should have killed them when I had the chance.”  _ She thought to herself. She absently twirled Boomer’s fur in her hand.

She stared out over the valley, watching as lights flickered slowly off across it. It was about midnight, and she knew even the latest of night owls were most likely headed to sleep. Most of the citizens of Hope County could sleep easy, knowing that the Seed's were gone.

For the most part. The only people who knew she had spared the Seed's were Hurk and Sharky. And Boomer, but she had a feeling he would keep a secret. 

She looked out towards John's ranch, watching the landing strips lights blink on and off. She smiled to herself, and scratched Boomer softly when he growled. 

She remembered just how pissed John was when he learned she had reclaimed his ranch. His barely concealed anger through the radio had made her laugh, and her two partners had exchanged looks. 

“Hurk, imagine just how fucked up and angry that sex would be. He'd probably choke her to death and get off on it.” Hurk seemed lost in thought for a moment.

“Or, maybe he'd be the one who wants to be choked.” Sharky nodded, placing a hand under his chin.

“Man, I never even thought of that. Those religious types are always the kinkiest.” Remy had only rolled her eyes at that, clicking the radio to off, cutting John off mid-sentence. 

Remy let out another long sigh, to which Boomer lied down in her lap, placing his head on her legs. She idly scratched him, thoughts running restlessly through her head.

She… She didn't like them, did she? Sure, all three of those damn brothers were attractive in their own way, but after hearing all of the fucked up things they did, there was no way she could find herself forgiving them. 

Considering she herself had only been with a few people, none of them very healthy relationships either, she couldn't picture herself with any of them. But she had spared them, regardless. Obviously she held a soft spot for them, even for Faith. 

But what caused her to save them? She had still shot Jacob, almost as a warning to stay away, but he had still ran off, leaving a very small blood trail in his wake. She had still very nearly killed Faith, but in a moment of weakness, she took Faith’s hand as she reached out to her, pulling her to the shoreline and bandaging her. 

Now John, on the other hand, she had fully committed to killing. Maybe it was just the red haze of anger she had felt, from his mutilation of Nick and Pastor Jerome, and herself, that clouded her judgement. Regardless, he still weaseled his way out of her own atonement. 

She ran a hand through her pulled-back hair, detangling the mess. Boomer looked up at her as she removed his hand, and perked his ears up, looking straight back over his shoulder, towards the woods. Remy looked down at him, but before she could ask what was wrong, he let out a sharp, angry bark, and took off.

“Boomer!” She hissed, a strong wave of panic rushing over her. She was defenseless, and wounded. She had figured she would be safe enough without weapons, as she wasn't wandering very far and had her trusty mutt with her. But her heart began to flutter against her chest, warning her something was out there. 

Considering she didn't hear branches crackling or sniffing, she knew it had to be something, or someone, trying to be stealthy. 

She painfully hauled herself to her feet, taking a step forward uncertainly.

“Sharky? Hurk? If this is some goddamn joke I'll sic Cheeseburger on your asses.” No one replied, and she felt a sharp spike of adrenaline course through her veins. 

She heard someone laugh, and quiet whispers in the trees.

She glanced over her shoulder, looking down the mountain side. Normally belaying down the mountain wouldn't be a problem, but she was without her gear, and with enemies in front of her, she would be running the risk of them cutting the rope anyway. “Who's there?” She called out hesitantly, taking a heavy step forward. She let out a small grunt of pain when she placed weight on her bad leg, and she heard the whispers go quiet.

_ “Damn dog, should have listened to Sharky.”  _ Remy thought angrily, looking around desperately for a weapon. She heard the bushes rattle, and that's when she took off. She ran straight towards where the voices were coming from, hoping that her charge would startle whoever it was at least for a moment. 

As she pushed through the bushes, a large rock loomed in front of her, and she took a running leap, placing her good leg down on the rock and using it to vault off of. She risked a quick glance behind her, and saw a flash of red as she felt someone slam into her left side. She let out an anguished scream as she felt the person land on her bad leg.

She struggled against her captor viciously, using all of her strength to try to wrestle the person off her back. Whoever had tackled her had managed to force their way onto her back, and Remy let out a small whimper of both pain and hopelessness. 

She felt her captor force her hands behind her back, tying them with quick precision. She heard them snap, and more footsteps walked up to her. She tried turning her head to see the new visitor, but her vision was quickly obscured by a bandana that smelt faintly of Bliss.

“Damn dog.” Remy growled.


	7. Chapter 7

Remy felt the blanket slowly slide off her shoulders. She made no move to bring it back up around her, and instead sat straight up in her chair, glaring harshly at the brothers.

“If any of you even try and lay another hand on me I'll make sure it's the last thing you do.” She hissed, tensing up like a snake in her chair. Joseph merely smiled at her.

“That's the reason I asked Faith for the special batch of bliss.” Joseph took a step towards her, leaving John and Jacob to give each other confused glances. “Can't have our precious Deputy leaving us now.” As Joseph took another step towards Remy, she shot up from her chair, knocking it backwards. 

All three of the brothers tensed immediately, Jacob's hand going towards his left hip, and John taking a defensive stance. Joseph paused, his blue eyes watching her curiously. 

“Stay the fuck away from me.” Remy growled, taking a step back, feeling her heel nudging the chair. Joseph laughed.

“You're wounded. You're defenseless. You're outnumbered, and not only by us. You're on my compound, my child. The last few of my flock are here with us. You cannot run.” Remy looked back up at him, searching his face for any sort of hidden deceit. Her eyes came to rest on the open window. To get to that though she'd probably have to use the table as leverage to jump over both Jacob and John, and in her state, she knew that was going to be impossible. 

But there was no way she was just going to let them take her without a fight. She took another hesitant step back, using her leg to push the chair further. She flinched when she heard the loud groan of wood against wood. 

Jacob took a step forward. 

“Joseph, what are you planning?” Jacob asked, standing next to his younger sibling. Joseph turned to him, a wicked smile on his lips.

“Think about it brother. If the Resistance hears that she is carrying one of our children, what will they do? Their perfect weapon, ruined by us. They will not hurt her, or the child, even if we may perish. Regardless, our family will continue, with or without us.” He turned his gaze towards the frazzled deputy. “And who better to carry our family than our lost little lamb? This will stop her attacks on our flock while we rebuild.” John's face was impassable, staring down directly at the floor. Joseph turned to look at him.

“Your thoughts, brother?” John almost appeared not to have heard him at first, startling slightly at his voice. John turned his eyes to look at Remy.

“She won't let us near her Joseph. Look at her.” Remy was slightly bent over, her leg starting to cause her grief for standing on it for so long, but her fight-or-flight instincts were on high alert. 

“You're damn right I won't.” She growled.”I'll tear your throats out with my own teeth if I have to.” She heard Jacob laugh, but her sights were on John now. She'd only have to clear one brother now instead of two to get to the window.

“Maybe she would make a fine mother. I can't imagine she'd let anything harm her child.” She heard Jacob telling Joseph. 

“Quite like a mother bear I'd assume.” Joseph agreed. She saw out of her peripheral Joseph turn her back to her, blocking Jacob from her view. Now.

Remy sprung into action, ignoring the sharp stab of pain her leg caused, vaulting herself up onto the table, and in turn knocking the vase with Bliss flowers over. She heard Jacob swear, and she watched in mild satisfaction as a look of fury and almost awe spread across John's face. 

But her victory was short lived.

She felt as John grabbed her ankle, yanking her down out of the air onto him. With a sharp grunt, the two of them collapsed to the ground, Remy falling with a cry onto him. 

She landed on her knees, straddling John's left leg. She fell with a hard  _ thump _ on his chest, and for a brief moment she could hear his heart pounding heavily in his chest. She quickly pushed herself up onto her hands and knees, and was met with John's stare. He let out a laugh, one she had never heard. He almost sounded… Happy.

“For not wanting us to touch you, you sure jumped onto me pretty quick.” He grabbed her upper arms, using her jacket as leverage. “I think she wants me the most brothers.” John gave her a playful wink, and she let out a disgusted grunt, struggling to regain her footing to get off of the man. He forcefully shoved her off of him and onto the cold floor, putting his hand to the small of her back, forcing her to lay flat on her stomach.

He leaned down over her back, his breath causing the hair behind her ear to stir. “All you had to do was ask.” She gave another hard struggle, but let out another gasp when he slammed his knee into her injured leg. She screamed, and only wriggled harder. She heard John sigh above her.

“I don't know about this Joseph. She's too unpredictable. How will we keep her away from the Resistance? And why not just have one of us stay with her?” He mumbled something under his breath, but Remy was unsure what he said. The room was quiet for a moment while Joseph though.

“I'm not concerned about the Resistance finding her so easily this time around. She will be rotated through our compounds, two days at each. She will start at yours for now John. Then she will be transported to Jacob's, then to mine, and we will continue in that pattern. If the Resistance catches on, we will simply rotate the pattern.” John shifted, placing his knee down forcefully into her back, causing her to cry out in pain again. “Gentle John.”

John seemed to take no notice of his brothers agitation.

“That's all fine and well Joseph, but each time she has been captured, she's been freed because of our security on her transportation. Who's to say they won't just attack the caravan she will be in?” Jacob asked, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. 

“Easy. She will no longer be transported by our flock. She will be transported by you two, and you two alone.” Remy gave another weak struggle, to which John offered her some slight relief by easing off on the pressure on her back. “John, you will transport her to Jacob's bunker via Affirmation. Jacob, you will transport her to mine via Pack Hunter. John will then pick her up from mine. We cannot trust anyone other than ourselves to protect her.” Joseph explained, walking towards John and Remy. She felt John remove the pressure on her back, and she pushed herself up onto her knees, finding herself directly in front of Joseph. 

She tilted her head up to look at him, a look of defiance settling across her features. Joseph gave a short chuckle, and a wry grin.

“I told you, you aren't escaping us anytime soon.” She flipped her hair back over her shoulder, and as soon as she did, she felt someone tug her hair, forcing her head up towards Joseph. He reached down towards her with his left hand, tilting her head up even farther. His Eden's Gate necklace grazed against her neck softly. 

“Too bad I took Jacob's plane.” She half-whispered, half-growled. Joseph narrowed his eyes.

“Oh, did you now?” He turned his head to look at Jacob, whose eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.

“No, it's still at… Fuck.” Jacob looked down at her angrily, yanking her head back further. She grimaced, but otherwise stayed silent. She wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of hearing her cry out anymore.

“Maybe you should have kept a better eye on it. I bought that as a gift for you brother.” John said, sounding wounded. She couldn't see Jacob's expression, but Remy had a feeling it wasn't happy.

“That thing was too damn gaudy for me. Anyone could have spotted me from miles away.” Remy actually laughed at that, causing Joseph and John to look at her. 

“That's what I liked about it. The cult knew it meant certain death when they saw it coming.” She felt Jacob tug her hair again. “Sometimes they didn't even realize it was me. Sometimes they'd run out to greet their Herald, and then I'd shoot them down.” That seemed to piss Joseph off. His upper lip twitched, and he forcefully grabbed her chin, digging his fingernails in. Remy only flinched, but kept eye contact with him.

“Jacob, since it was your own carelessness, you find your plane. We're going to need it.” Joseph said, not breaking eye contact with Remy. Remy smiled.

“Good luck with that. I kept it nice and safe in John's ranch. That is, after I liberated it.” She felt Joseph's grip tighten. She shut her eyes, trying to force herself to ignore the pain.

“Sounds like we'll have to just take it back then. Two birds, one stone, as the saying goes.” She heard Joseph murmur. She opened her eyes again.

“Yeah, I'd like to see you try. Some of the Resistances best fighters are holed up there.” She shot back. She wasn't entirely truthful, but it wasn't exactly a lie either. She had built a cabin to the east of his ranch, which was where she had been relaxing with Sharky and Hurk. She knew a couple of her other friends were there, including Grace. She also knew Grace liked to keep Peaches around, so if any of brothers even tried to get near the ranch she knew one of those two would keep them away. 

Joseph turned to look at Jacob, who only growled.

“I'll take care of it. I still have some judges left, and a few of my chosen. We'll get it cleared out.” Joseph nodded. He turned towards John.

“If you'll go and prepare Affirmation for flight, now would be the time. You need to make sure everything is in peak condition, as we cannot afford to lose her because of some flaw in your machine.” John scoffed.

“Even after she managed to riddle it with holes, I've had my best mechanic on it. And I've already gone over his work. It's ready for flight.” Joseph nodded, and tilted his head towards the door. 

“Then go get it. They might already know she's here. We must move quickly.” John nodded, and strode out the door. 

“We can't transport her without the Bliss Joseph. She's too cunning to simply tie up and hope she won't attack John while he's flying.” Joseph nodded, dipping the towel back into the water. 

“Stand.” Joseph commanded. Remy stayed kneeling for a moment, but before Jacob could force her up, she hauled herself uneasily onto her feet, losing her balance when she tested her wounded leg. Joseph reached a hand out to steady her but she twisted, causing his hand to slide softly over her exposed skin. 

Joseph jerked his hand back, almost like she had shocked him. He gave her a dark look, and motioned towards her bandage on her leg.

“Jacob, if you would.” Jacob easily cut her bandage off, to which she grunted when the cool air hit her mangled leg. Joseph let out a sharp inhale and knelt before her. 

Something stirred inside of Remy as she watched and felt Joseph gently clean her wound, patting it with warm water instead of rubbing. 

“It appears something cut into you. Has it already been taken out?” Joseph asked, not bothering to look up at her as he worked. Remy tried to adjust herself, but only succeeded in letting out a quiet gasp as pain shot through her again.

“Yes.” Was all she said. Jacob glanced down at her, taking in her disheveled self. She felt Joseph press into the wound a little harder, as if he pushed her she would tell him. 

“Who took it out? It looks… Messy.” He reached behind himself for the bandages, and sighed when he looked back at her leg. “You're going to need stitches.” 

Remy kept silent, staring down quietly at the cult leader in front of her.

_ “A quick knee to the face could probably get me out of here.” _ Almost as if he heard her thoughts, Joseph looked up. He gave her a grim smile.

“Even if you did manage to hit me, Jacob would catch you.” Remy stayed quiet, wincing as he pushed harder.

After a few moments Joseph snapped his fingers towards his brother,  gaining his attention.

“Hand me the med-kit.” Jacob stepped forward with the kit, watching his brother curiously.

“You sure you know what you’re doing?” Jacob asked, placing the pack in his hands. Joseph rooted around in the kit for a moment, then sighed.

“I suppose you would have more experience than me.” Joseph stood with a grunt, passing the med-kit back over towards Jacob. Remy glanced between the two brothers, unsure if she could trust their medicinal experience. 

Jacob knelt down in front of her this time, pulling a cleansing wipe from the med-kit. He tore the packet open with his teeth, spitting the extra plastic out of his mouth. 

Remy braced herself for the sting of the antiseptic, but was mildly surprised how gentle Jacob patted around her wound. 

Once he appeared satisfied with his handiwork, he dug around into the medkit some more. After a few moments he shrugged and glanced up at the deputy.

“Looks like there's no anesthetic in here. Hope you can handle a little pain.” Before she could respond he pushed her roughly in her stomach, causing her to stumble back. 

Before she could fall, she felt someone grab her shoulders and guide her down into the chair, which had been picked up by Joseph.

She sat down with a gasp and watched as Joseph walked back towards her.

"You'll make a lovely edition to our family."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, me again! If you guys are enjoying the story, get ready, because I’m going to try and update weekly! For now I have a chapter already ready to upload, but I’d like to try and stay consistent and keep things moving. I have lots of delicious, evil plans in store for the Deputy. ;) Stay tuned!


	8. Chapter 8

Remy raced through the thick undergrowth, branches whipping past and on her face. She could hear something behind her, but she didn’t dare look back.

She could hear the heavy footfalls of the creatures behind her, their enormous paws making a soft squelching sound as they ran through the muddy terrain.

This was their territory. This was what they were meant to do. Hunt the wounded. Kill the sick. Cull the herd.

She about tripped trying to launch herself over a fallen log, and as she did she made the mistake of looking back.

Three massive wolves were on her trail, their blue eyes focused solely on their prey. The leader had a look of determination, his eyes trained on her. The other two raced slightly behind their alpha, brushing up against him as they ran.

Remy turned back around to start running, but suddenly found herself facing a cliffs edge, a dark torrent of water surging beneath her. She flipped back around to face her demise, but was shocked to see they had paused in their descent. 

The leader had pure white fur, gleaming softly in the dim moonlight. His pack mates were red and black, the red one on his left and the black on his right. 

The white one held his head high, almost as though he was looking down at an insignificant speck on his paw. The red one was bristling, his blue eyes full of fury and darkness. The black one had his head down low, his own blue eyes hiding something foreboding. 

Remy took another step back, feeling the heel of her foot slide off the edge. She glanced another look over her shoulder, and then turned back to look at them.

Suddenly she found herself hanging off the cliff, one hand gripping the rock and the other hanging limp at her side. She felt the panic in her rise, until she looked back up.

A man was standing there, his dark hair tied neatly in a bun. His familiar blue eyes bore down on her, and he reached a hand out, just out of her reach.

“You can be saved. All you need to do is ask.” She felt herself falling before she could respond.

—

Remy woke with a start, her eyes heavy and unfocused. She glanced around herself, attempting to figure out where she was.

_ “That dream was so real.”  _ She thought to herself, sitting up slowly in the bed. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, realizing she was parched. She looked to her left, hoping for some sort of relief in the form of water. 

To her disappointment, she realized she was basically in a cell. The only real thing to note in the room was the bed she was on, and a small nightstand to her left. 

As she went to stand, she immediately felt dizzy, and sat back down quickly on the cot, leaning forward to quell the feeling. 

Another thing she took note of was that she was starving. The nausea and lightheadedness were probably stemming from the overall lack of nutrients she had received these…

Remy sat back up with a jolt, wincing when it caused the world to spin around her. 

Just how long had she been out? The last thing she could remember was Jacob giving her stitches, and Joseph forcing a bliss covered rag over her face when she began to fight. 

She tossed the blanket off of herself, glancing down at her wounded leg. Someone must have been coming in every day to clean it. The wound was still fresh, a clean white linen bandage wrapped tightly around her thigh.

It appeared it had stopped bleeding a while ago, so she made quick work of taking the bandage off to inspect the results. 

Remy let out a shaky gasp when she saw her leg. It was very nearly healed, the stitches taken out recently. She ran a hand over the leg, almost impressed with how quickly it had healed. 

She heard a loud bang outside of the door, startling her enough to cause her to jump. The door creaked open, and a dark haired woman walked in, carrying a small tray. 

The woman didn’t appear to be surprised Remy was awake, simply closing the door behind her and switching on a light to the left of the door. 

“You must be hungry.” She stated, placing the tray down on the nightstand. Remy gave her a distrustful look, watching quietly as she began to remove items from the tray. 

“It’s been about a week. In case you’re wondering.” The woman handed her a water bottle. Remy quickly snatched it from her grasp, twisting the cap off and drinking greedily.

“I’d be careful if I was you. Don’t want to-“ At that point Remy began choking on the water, coughing painfully as the water began to make its way back up. The woman sighed.

“I tried to warn you. I brought you some food as well. Special courtesy of Jacob.” Remy glanced over at her, finally taking in her appearance.

The woman appeared to be part of the cult, her black hair pulled up into a high messy bun. Remy could spot hints of a pinkish-white color poking through. Her teal eyes were focused entirely on Remy, as though she could read what she was thinking.

“Nice try mutt. You’re severely dehydrated, as well as famished. You couldn’t hope to take out Jacob’s hand-picked Chosen.” Remy lifted her head back up at the woman, taking in her form.

The woman wasn’t as tall as her personality acted, appearing to be four or five inches shorter than Remy. She was wearing a worn, dark brown leather jacket, her dark skinny jeans torn in multiple places. Remy wasn’t sure if it was a fashion statement or a warning. 

“Where am I?” Remy managed to croak, taking another long drink of water. The woman shrugged.

“Doesn’t really matter does it? You’re not leaving anytime soon.” The woman held a simple sandwich out to her, which Remy seized instantly. “This time don’t choke.” She warned, a small smirk settling across her features. 

The woman finished setting things down, and gestured towards the rest of the items. “There’s some clean gauze her for your wound, which should be feeling fine now. There’s also some antiseptic here just in case. We’ve kept it pretty clean for you while you were out. There’s also some fruit here when you’re done with the sandwich. If you need more water just let me know.” The woman nodded her head towards Remy’s right, gaining her attention.

“There’s also a fully functional bathroom over there. Get yourself cleaned up. There should be some clothes in there that will fit.” She tucked the tray under her right arm, and gave Remy a tight smile.

“I’m you’re glorified babysitter for the next two days that you’re here, so don’t make me do anything Jacob would approve of.” Remy stayed silent for a little longer.

“Did… Did they…” She half-whispered, gripping the edges of her shorts a little tighter. The Chosen waited, a little too long, before she responded.

“I’m not sure what they’ve got planned for you, but you’ve just been transferred between the three of them for a week now. Jacob hasn’t touched you when you come in, if that’s what you’re wondering. I can’t speak for the other two though.” Her features softened fractionally. 

“Something like that would go against their teachings. No matter how heartless or ruthless they may be, that’s the only thing keeping you safe right now Deputy.” The woman turned away, and started walking back out.

“Wait.” Remy called out, glancing back up. Jacob’s Chosen turned back towards her. “What’s your name?” The woman glanced back out the door, and appeared to have ignored her. Before the door shut, it paused, and Remy heard a quiet voice call back,

“It’s Clarisse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm a little late to adding a note to this chapter but I'm lazy. Originally I was going to update every Friday, but now it's going to be Mondays because then it gives me time to write on the weekends! So keep a look out for the updates on Mondays!


	9. Chapter 9

Remy watched as the door clicked shut behind Clarisse, her eyes taking in the steel door. It appeared to be a door commonly found in bunkers, which led her to believe she was currently in Jacob’s bunker, if Clarisse wasn’t lying. 

Remy stood up slowly from the bed, the food and water helping to keep her steady and her feet under her. She glanced over towards the door that she hadn’t noticed before. 

She was honestly a little surprised at how well she appeared to have been taken care of, especially in Jacob’s care. He was the most uncaring brother in her opinion, and to have her in a rather comfortable room with a fully-functioning bathroom was not something she would expect from him. 

Remy shuffled her way towards the bathroom, turning on the light and waiting for it to stop flickering. The bathroom was rather plain, a simple shower in the left corner, a toilet, and a small sink and mirror hanging above the sink. 

She made her way to the mirror, and stared at herself, taking in her gaunt appearance. Somehow she had eaten the past week, along with drinking some sort of water. The dark circles under her eyes indicated she hadn’t slept much, but she couldn’t remember much of the past week. 

A sudden sharp stab of pain ran through her abdomen, causing her to double over. She was about to be sick. 

She rushed over to the toilet, barely slamming the lid open before emptying the contents of her stomach in the tiny toilet. She took a steadying breath to keep herself from crying.

There was no way she would be throwing up this early if she was pregnant, so that was out of the question. She also had no recollection of the brothers taking advantage of her, but that was what scared her the most. 

This past week was a blur, a bliss-filled haze. There was no way for her to say for sure the brothers left her alone. She slightly remembered Jacob carrying her over his shoulder to this room, but beyond that was dark. 

She stood up shakily, using the wall to steady herself as she removed her clothes and turned the shower on. The water took way too long to get warm, and even then it wasn’t more than luke-warm. 

She stood quietly under the shower, watching the water swirl gently down the drain. There were some small samples of shampoo and soap on the little soap holder, and she tore open the soap, lathering herself in lavender-scented suds. She felt useless.

The Seeds had so easily captured her, not even having to resort to bliss bullets to take her down. She was stupid and careless. She had taken nothing with her to protect herself, not even a knife. She could have taken down a few of them at least if she had a knife. 

She stared down at the arm she was using to steady herself, and felt a strong urge of anger rush up inside of her.

She grabbed the soap and began to scrub harshly, using her nails to dig into the tender flesh. She flinched when she saw the blood begin to flow, but only scrubbed harder, her tears beginning to fall freely now. Whether they were from the anger, pain, or general sense of fear she felt she was unsure. 

She wanted to be rid of any part of her the Seeds touched. Any flitting grasp, caress, she wanted it gone. She threw the soap down furiously when the pain became too much. She sunk down to the shower floor, sobbing openly into her hands. 

She didn’t want to be here. She joined the force to help the weak, help those in need. When Whitehorse asked her to join his team to get more experience under her belt she couldn’t argue. If not for that damned US Marshal they never would have gotten into this. Maybe eventually the Army would have come in, taking matters into their own hands. 

She couldn’t think about that now though. She waited until the new wounds on her arms stopped bleeding, then turned the shower off, the water long gone cold. 

She wrapped a thin white towel around herself, stepping gingerly from the shower onto the cold tile. She looked at herself in the mirror again, her eyes red and puffy. 

She had never felt like this. She had never felt like she had no hope, no options left but to give in. This time she glanced at the mirror, not looking at herself. 

The mirror. It looked easy enough to shatter. Easy enough to take a slice and let herself bleed out on the floor. It would be an escape. Let the brothers do anything to her then. 

She raised a hand towards the mirror, as though to punch it. Before she got to the mirror itself she paused. 

No. No, that would be the easy way out of this. She gripped the edge of the sink, steeling herself. 

She would make them pay. She wouldn't let them take her down without a fight. She was a deputy for a reason. She gained the title of the Resistances weapon by being ruthless. 

This time she would finish what she started. She tucked the towel a little tighter around herself and stepped out of the bathroom, coming to a halt when she saw Jacob sitting on the bed.

He glanced up at her as she stepped out, giving her a sly grin.

“That was fast. Typically I don't afford mutts this kind of luxury but Joseph insisted.” Remy immediately turned around to head back into the bathroom but Jacob was quicker. 

He slammed the door shut with his hand, trapping Remy between the door and himself. 

“I didn't say you could leave.” He growled, leaning down close to her. She twisted away from him, but before she could get far he grabbed the top of the towel across her back, stopping her in her tracks.

“You move and the towel stays with me. Now sit.” He warned. Remy stopped and twisted around to look at him. 

“What do you want.” She asked, more of a statement than a question.

She knew what he was here for. She should have broken the mirror and taken a shard. She could have attacked him with it. 

She doubted she could have taken him down, considering he stood a good 5 inches taller than her. She was by no means short or weak, but he was sturdy, his many years of military work keeping him lean. 

“I came to talk.” He gestured towards the bed, and she sat down gingerly, taking extra care to keep herself modest. 

“Talk? I highly doubt that.” She growled. He shrugged, and leaned casually against the door, his eyes surprisingly not wandering far from her own.

“I don't believe you're worthy.” He stated, gauging her reaction. She didn't move.

“Well apparently your psycho brother does and you follow everything he says.” Jacob shrugged again.

“I may not believe everything he teaches, but I know he's my brother. I'd do anything for him and John.” He paused. “Always have.”

“Okay? So what does this have to do with anything?” She inched further away from him onto the bed.

“You're not worthy of bringing our family into the new dawn. Joseph insists I take care of you while you're in my stead, so I'll do just that. If Joseph and John think you're worthy, fine.” He pushed himself off the wall and stalked closer to her.

“But you're weak. You'll never make it to Eden without being strong. And you showed weakness to me. To John. To Faith.” He strode towards the door, and glanced back towards her.

“And the weak must be punished.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was a day late! Had a rather busy weekend celebrating father's and what not! Anyway, this chapter is a little short, but I'll make up for it in the next one. ;)


End file.
